Two weeks ago, my sister asked me to send her some pictures that I had on my computer. When I opened my comp, I was met with the "restarting" message above. I snapped a pic and I told her that this is what's holding me up.
She wrote back, "That would be a great blog post."
It's like she could see the future or something. Because that week proved to be a week all about restarting. I don't like to say this because people, even believers, think it sounds crazy, but God told me to do a few things last week that meant I'd have to start over. I had to call someone who I knew wouldn't be receptive to my calling him (period) or to what God told me to tell him. He misconstrued it. (Was that about "restarting"? Only God knows. But it restarted an old pain.) I had to let go of a work/spiritual relationship that allowed me to serve and learn. That confused me, because I genuinely enjoyed working with this team of women and was serving God at the same time. And then my car, my sweet baby, refused to start.
I had to talk to God; like have a real heart-to-heart.
At one point, I even told Him, "You are so annoying" because I got two messages afterward that I didn't understand. But I also had to say, I trust You. I don't understand You, God, but I trust You.
On the day of my car crisis, my goodgirlfriend who I hadn't spoken to in a few weeks called me out of the blue JUST AS I'D STARTED CRYING.
And she stayed on the phone with me until the man came to tow my car. And she sent me a video that made me ugly laugh/cry so hard. And she just cared about me. And I knew (yet again) that God cared about me.
She only called me to say hi. And was met with tears. She didn't know that I needed her call that day. I didn't know that I needed her call. But God knew.
A day later, I had to rebuke the enemy because my feelings were saying that following God caused rejection and pain and I was feeling discouraged. (Read more on not letting your emotions be the boss of you ---> HERE.)
And then, God told me to change my name. I have been going by Pearson Lee since about 2006 when I realized I was going to be an author. Pearson Lee was my rock star name! For me, Lisa Pearson was so simple. A regular name. And I realize, that it's perfectly fine for what God is doing with me. I'm not the rock star. God is.
So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, restarting.
Yep. That's where I am.
Here. Restarting. Rebooting. Waiting.
With my feelings in check. With great hope.
And lots of prayer.
I trust You.
I don't understand You, God, but I trust You.