Lisa Yvette Pearson

Books, blogs, and biblicalities.

Tea Time: Kerri Barrus

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I hate him. But I can’t tell him that. So I play nice. Then I wait ‘til he not looking and pay him back. One day I will tell him about all the ways I paid him back. Probably when he about to die.
— Kerri Barrus, Rabbit's Lucky Number

Dear Diary,

Today at school, everybody was making a big deal about my eyes. Especially Cash Money. He said they make me look exotic. He said he never saw a dark skin girl with green eyes and long hair. Oh my God. Then he said I was real pretty for a dark skin girl. I thought that was nice 'til stupid Rabbit cursed him out and told him I was pretty because I was pretty, and that's it. She always have to say something. I hate her sometimes. Even though she said I was pretty. But she messed it up because Cash Money walked away from us and now I don't even know if he's going to ask me out anymore.

I never told nobody, but I think they look crazy. They used to make fun of me. My dad and Roddy. Mostly my dad though. He would say, "stop lookin' at me with those scary cat eyes." Or he would tell me to close my eyes when I come talk to him or he call me boogety boo. Oh, and spook. I don't know why he call me spook when he blacker than me.

I hate him. But I can't tell him that. So I play nice. Then I wait 'til he not looking and pay him back. One day I will tell him about all the ways I paid him back. Probably when he about to die. 

I play nice with everybody, sometimes. But I always, always, always, pay them back when they do something to me. If Rabbit messed up me and Cash Money, I'm gonna get her back, too.

Anyway, I gotta go because Auntie Rhona is coming and I don't want her to see where I hid my diary. She gon' try to read it and ask me all these questions like the social worker. Like she my social worker.

I miss my mother. I wish she come get me from here. I hate her, too.

Your only friend,

Kerri a.k.a. Kay Kay